It's time we break the cycle of denial and face an awful truth: The 2005 NFL season is dead and buried. I know because I saw its tombstone.An NFL season is really an organic entity -- much like a human or a raccoon, or a mollusk or a coral reef. Though each season has its own individual characteristics, it follows a predictable life cycle: Out of a brief gestation (Latin for "exhibition games"), the season is born in September and takes its tottering first steps. From there, it grows quickly to manhood, devouring all rivals, and by December it looms tall and broad-shouldered over American sport. Then, in early February, at the peak of its vitality, this young life comes to a shattering and violent end. In a way, the Super Bowl is rather like the final scene in Scarface: Say hello to my little friend ... the Lombardi Trophy! From there we move to that maudlin funeral known as the Pro Bowl, and we pause to consider the season's gravestone, chiseled, as always, by the editors of Sports Illustrated.
For four decades, the arrival of SI's Super Bowl wrapup has signaled the passing of the NFL season. Oh, every year the magazine gamely tries to lessen the grief by sending out an issue crammed with softcore pr0n, but the comfort is cold at best. All the painted boobies and sand-encrusted booties in the world can't make us forget that we've got seven black months before the next season is birthed into the angled light of late summer.
The Super Bowl covers, like the games they represent -- like human beings -- are all different, yet share many characteristics. For example, each bears an epitaph -- a postscript on the game and the season just concluded. This year's Super Bowl cover (click it above to see the full-size version) is inscribed "Thumbs Up." In other years, it might say "Super Star!" or carry some gruesome pun on the order of "Patriots' Day!" or "Ride 'Em Cowboy!" Each Super Bowl cover also bears a photo of a hero (sorry, "Superhero!"), usually but not always the game MVP. This year's version features Hines Ward of the Steelers.
What follows is a trip through the NFL graveyard -- or, if you prefer, "down memory lane." Join us as we examine, evaluate and, if necessary, desecrate 40 years' worth of Sports Illustrated Super Bowl covers.
HOW TO DECODE THIS FEATURE
"Main cover line" / This is the primary "headline" of the cover. It's usually, but not necessarily, the biggest type on the page.
"Featured player" / The athlete displayed most prominently on the cover.
"MVP? Iconic image?" / Is the person on the cover the game MVP? Or does the picture show a "signature moment" from the game, such as Adam Vinatieri celebrating a field goal, John Riggins dragging half of Miami down the field, or Max McGee vomiting into his helmet?
"Cover story" / Why the cover is appropriate -- or why it makes no sense.
"Could cover line have been written before the game?"/ Some cover lines are so weak and meaningless ("Super Star" or "Wow!") that they say nothing about either the game or the team that won it. Others are team-specific ("Superboys") but still reveal nothing about what happened in the game. In both cases, the lines could have been written weeks, if not months, in advance.
"Super"-fluous: This icon indicates a cover line that uses the word "Super" as a throwaway adjective -- basically, in any context but "Super Bowl." 
Exclaim check: This icon denotes a cover line that hobbles across the page on crutches built of exclamation points.
Auntie Em: Dorothy's stern but loving aunt indicates a cover line that for whatever reason has decided to truncate "Them" as " 'Em" (or "Her" as " 'Er"). ALL COVER LINKS WILL OPEN IN ONE SEPARATE WINDOW.
And away we go:
SUPER BOWL XL (Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 10)
Issue date: Feb. 13, 2006
Main cover line: "Thumbs up."
Featured player: Hines Ward.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Maybe, maybe not. History will decide, but if you go by ABC's coverage of the game, the lasting image will be Jerome Bettis on the sideline with his helmet in his hand, watching the action unfold.
Cover story: The cover line is pep-rally puffery that refers to the Steelers winning "one for the thumb." See, five Super Bowl championships means five Super Bowl rings, enough for each finger and the thumb. Get it? Clever! I'd suggest that when a team goes 26 years between Ring No. 4 and Ring No. 5, the guys on the field aren't completing a set of rings as much as they're starting a whole new one. If Terry Bradshaw had come out of retirement to back up Ben Roethlisberger this season, then he would have won one for the thumb. Everybody else on the Steelers was working on Ring No. 1.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Before Super Bowl XXX, even. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Ball Hawks"; "Reign in Seattle."
SUPER BOWL XXXIX (New England 24, Philadelphia 21)
Issue date: Feb. 14, 2005
Main cover line: "Down Pat."
Featured player: Rodney Harrison, with Mike Vrabel on his heels.
MVP? No (Deion Branch), but I'm not going to be the one to tell Harrison. Iconic image? Sure. It beats Donovan McNabb vomiting his pregame meal all over Terrell Owens' contract.
Cover story: Sports Illustrated spits in Harrison's face by forcing him to share the cover with a tiny photo of Phil Mickelson and a reefer about the U.S. ski team. The cover line is explained thus: With its third title in four years, New England appears to have the art of winning Super Bowls "down pat." Once you start trying to chase it down like that, you realize just how far SI expects us to go to carry their pun.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Eagles Soar"; "Philly's Finest."
SUPER BOWL XXXVIII (New England 32, Carolina 29)
Issue date: Feb. 9, 2004
Main cover line: "The Hero (Again)."
Featured player: Tom Brady.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? I'll say yes, because it's not like they're going to put Janet Jackson's breast out there. We can't see naked breasts until the next issue.
Cover story: The headline is noteworthy because it's the last SI Super Bowl cover to say something about the game besides "Team A won." The photo shows Brady and his teammates pouring off the bench after Adam Vinatieri kicked the winning field goal ... which wouldn't have been necessary had Vinatieri not missed two kicks earlier in the game ... which is why Brady can indisputably be the "hero" rather than Vinatieri.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Cardiac Cats!" "Pantherrific!"
SUPER BOWL XXXVII (Tampa Bay 48, Oakland 21)
Issue date: Feb. 3, 2003
Main cover line: "It's a Rout!"Featured player: Joe Jurevicius.
MVP? Not hardly (Dexter Jackson). Iconic image? No.
Cover story: After a game utterly dominated by the Tampa defense, in which the Buccaneers intercepted five passes and returned three of them for touchdowns, SI puts on its cover ... Tampa's No. 3 receiver? One of the ground rules of visual editing is that you lead with your strongest image, and this picture of a pop-eyed Jurevicius giving the stiff-arm to Raiders corner Tory James is certainly catchy. But it ain't the real story.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Return to Excellence"; something with "Baby" in it.
SUPER BOWL XXXVI (New England 20, St. Louis 17)
Issue date: Feb. 11, 2002
Main cover line: "Patriots' Day."
Featured player: Willie McGinest.
MVP? No (Tom Brady). Iconic image? No way.
Cover story: If you were flipping through a stack of magazines looking for the one from the Rams-Patriots Super Bowl, you'd skip right over this cover, because you'd be expecting to see that immortal shot of Adam Vinatieri leaping in the air after nailing the game-winning, 48-yard field goal. The picture on this cover -- of McGinest grinding Kurt Warner's sternum into powder -- is certainly dramatic, but it isn't what we remember.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Oh, years before. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Dynasty!" "Ram Tough!"
SUPER BOWL XXXV (Baltimore 34, N.Y. Giants 7)
Issue date: Feb. 5, 2001
Main cover line: "Baltimore Bullies."
Featured player: Jamie Sharper.
MVP? No (Ray Lewis). Iconic image? It's as good as anything else from the game. Even considering the stretch where the teams scored touchdowns on three consecutive plays, this was still the dullest Super Bowl in recent memory.
Cover story: The sub-headline on the cover reads, "The Ravens' defense beats up the Giants in the Super Bowl." And "defense" is italicized like that, as if it were a surprise that the game played out the way it did. If there was anything surprising about the game it was that the Ravens' oleomargarine-flavored offense put up 20 points. Italicize that, buddy boy. Words aside, the cover is fitting, as it shows Sharper in the act of committing a personal foul on Giants quarterback Kerry Collins.
Could cover line have been written before the game? More or less. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Giant Upset"; "Kerry On My Wayward Son."
SUPER BOWL XXXIV (St. Louis 23, Tennessee 16)
Issue date: Feb. 7, 2000
Main cover line: "What a Super Bowl!"Featured player: Kurt Warner.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? No.
Cover story: The art shows Warner throwing a pass over the head of a hard-charging Anthony Dorsett. The picture is just fine, because it matches the sub-headline, "Kurt Warner and the Rams: A Storybook Ending To a Miracle Season." (Go ahead and ask Kurt his thoughts on the "miracle" aspect. It's not a word he throws around this loosely.) The lasting image of the game, however, isn't of the Rams offense. It's of St. Louis linebacker Mike Jones stopping the Titans' Kevin Dyson a yard short at the final gun.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Maybe. Possible cover line if the other team had won: Same.
SUPER BOWL XXXIII (Denver 34, Atlanta 19)
Issue date: Feb. 8, 1999
Main cover line: "Super Bowl."
Featured player: John Elway.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Yes.
Cover story: This cover is full of words, including "How John Elway took control." Elway did take control, and he did lead his team to victory. The perfect headline, actually, would have been "Sweet Redemption," because this game -- not the game against the Packers the year before -- was the one that proved John Elway, rather than the Broncos, can win the Super Bowl. But somebody went and jumped the gun.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Duh. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "How Chris Chandler took control"; "Dirty Birds Soar."
SUPER BOWL XXXII (Denver 31, Green Bay 24)
Issue date: Feb. 2, 1998
Main cover line: "Sweet Redemption." (See?)
Featured player: John Elway.
MVP? You may have forgotten, but definitely not (Terrell Davis). Iconic image? No.
Cover story: Looking at this cover, you realize that long, long before the game, someone decreed that if the Broncos came out on top, the story was going to be Elway Finally Wins the Big One. The problem is, Elway wasn't the one who "won" this game. He had one of his typically crummy Super Bowl outings (12-of-22 for 123 yards, no TDs and one interception) and was just along for the ride as Davis won the game in spite of him. Nevertheless, Elway wound up on the cover -- and it wasn't even the famous shot of him getting spun like a helicopter near the goal line. Meanwhile, the sub-headline on the cover calls this "the best Super Bowl ever." The '90s were a little over-the-top that way.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Packers Do It Again!" "Favre in Charge!"
SUPER BOWL XXXI (Green Bay 35, New England 21)
Issue date: Feb. 3, 1997
Main cover line: "Special Team."
Featured player: Desmond Howard.
MVP? Yup. Iconic image? No.
Cover story: The lasting image of Super Bowl XXXI will always be 16-year-old Brett Favre running around the Superdome turf with his helmet off after throwing a touchdown pass. (Nowadays, that costs you 15 yards.) But Howard was the one who broke the Patriots' spirits, and he deserves the cover. The headline, with its double reference, is a nice one.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Patriots' Day"; "Down Pat."
SUPER BOWL XXX (Dallas 27, Pittsburgh 17)
Issue date: Feb. 5, 1996
Main cover line: "Superboys."Featured player: Emmitt Smith.
MVP? No (Larry Brown). Iconic image? No, but I can't think of any iconic images from Super Bowl XXX, except maybe Neil O'Donnell walking off the field with his chin strap undone. Or Barry Switzer chewing the scenery. Or that one official who tried to cheer up Bill Cowher as the darkness closed in. Nothing else comes to mind. Funny, isn't it?
Cover story: Previous Super Bowl MVPs Smith and Troy Aikman both had pretty pedestrian games, so the MVP went to cornerback Larry Brown, whose key contribution involved not dropping two O'Donnell passes that hit him square in the chest. In this case, SI ignored the MVP for good reason. But "Superboys"? God, don't get me started ...
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes, but it shouldn't have been. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Thumbs Up," obviously. Hell, that should have been the line in either case. If SI's going to play that game in 2006 for a team that's been waiting a quarter-century for Ring No. 5, it could have done it in 1996 for a team that had been waiting only two years. Instead we get "Superboys," lazy and uninspired. (And I swear I could remember Smith being referred to as "Superman" just a few years earlier.)
SUPER BOWL XXIX (San Francisco 49, San Diego 26)
Issue date: Feb. 6, 1995
Main cover line: "Victory!"Featured player: Steve Young.
MVP? No question. Iconic image? Definitely.
Cover story: Come on, now. "Victory"? That's all you can come up with? The photo is perfect: Young, who threw a record six touchdown passes, celebrates on the sidelines as time runs out. A famous NFL Films clip shot at almost the same moment shows Young calling for someone to come over and "get this monkey off my back!" The monkey, of course, was the comparison to Joe Montana, who won four Super Bowls for the 49ers. And who was Super Bowl MVP three times. And who did it against some better competition than Stan Humphries and the Chargers. Just saying.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Any game, in any sport. Possible cover line if the other team had won: Same.
SUPER BOWL XXVIII (Dallas 30, Buffalo 13)
Issue date: Feb. 7, 1994
Main Cover line: "Superman!" Featured player: Emmitt Smith.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Oh, why not. Might as well give some propers here, because when you ask people about Bills vs. Cowboys in the Super Bowl, they always remember the first game, not this one.
Cover story: Smith had 132 yards and two touchdowns and deserved MVP honors. He also deserved a better cover line than "Superman!" At least "Superboys" was somewhat team-specific.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Of course. Possible cover line if the other team had won: Same, just substitute a different picture.
SUPER BOWL XXVII (Dallas 52, Buffalo 17)
Issue date: Feb. 8. 1993
Main cover line: "Ride 'Em Cowboy."Featured player: Troy Aikman.
MVP? Hell yes. Iconic image? No, which is too bad.
Cover story: Aikman picked apart the Buffalo defense, throwing for 273 yards and four touchdowns before being pulled in the fourth quarter. He also had 28 rushing yards, including two scrambles for first downs. All told, it was one of the most dominating QB performances in Super Bowl history -- yet no one seems to remember it. That's because the most enduring image from Super Bowl XXVII is of showboating slob Leon Lett getting caught from behind by Don Beebe before he could reach the end zone. It's devastating that in a game the Cowboys won by five touchdowns, Lett's overstuffed ego swung the spotlight away from his team's accomplishments and shone it instead on the never-say-die Bills. Buffalo lost four straight Super Bowls, including one at the gun, yet this one desperate play became their defining moment. Sorry, Troy. You deserved better.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Not really. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Machine-Gun Kelly"; "Million-Dollar Bills."
SUPER BOWL XXVI (Washington 37, Buffalo 24)
Issue date: Feb. 3, 1992
Main cover line: "Let 'Er Rip."Featured player: Mark Rypien.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? No.
Cover story: Let 'er rip. Get it? Rypien? Get it? His nickname's Ryp. Get it now? Dumb headline about a game that was forgettable in almost every aspect, except that it was played in Minneapolis. Rypien deserved to be MVP as much as anyone, but let us not forget that for years, Mark Rypien was the quarterback most often cited in this argument: "If (NAME) can win a Super Bowl, then winning the Super Bowl is not the best measure of greatness." Rypien, of course, has since been supplanted by Trent Dilfer.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Machine-Gun Kelly"; "Million-Dollar Bills." Look, they would have used these if given the chance.
SUPER BOWL XXV (N.Y. Giants 20, Buffalo 19)
Issue date: Feb. 4, 1991
Main cover line: "Bravo!"Featured player: Everson Walls.
MVP? No (Ottis Anderson). Iconic image? No way.
Cover story: The defining picture, and phrase, of Super Bowl XXV was "Wide Right." But they don't put losing-team kickers on the cover of SI, so we get Walls, who was celebrating in the right manner in the right place at the right time.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: Same. Or "Machine-Gun Kelly" or "Million-Dollar Bills."
SUPER BOWL XXIV (San Francisco 55, Denver 10)
Issue date: Feb. 5, 1990
Main cover line: "Joe Knows Super Bowls."
Featured player: Joe Montana.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Yes.
Cover story: Joe Montana, winner of four Super Bowls and MVP of three, finally makes the cover of the Sports Illustrated Super Bowl issue, though he had to throw five touchdowns to do it. So he and Earl Cooper are equal in at least one respect. In the cover photo, Montana appears to be levitating, which squares with what the battered Broncos probably remember. The line "Joe Knows Super Bowls" is a play on Bo Jackson's "Bo Knows" commercials for Nike. A primer for younger readers: Bo Jackson was a remarkable athlete who played two pro sports, then broke his hip and played no pro sports. Before he got hurt, he appeared in a series of ads in which he played every game under the sun ("Bo knows baseball." "Bo knows football." "Bo knows tennis," and so on). It was a huge sensation that means very little today, but you'll still hear obnoxious people reference it as if it's common currency. Sort of like with baby boomers and, say, Tangerine Dream.
Could cover line have been written before the game? I'll say yes, because everybody and their sister knew well ahead of time that the 49ers were going to slaughter the Broncos and then pee on their dead bodies. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Sweet Redemption!" (I never get tired of that one.)
SUPER BOWL XXIII (San Francisco 20, Cincinnati 16)
Issue date: Jan. 30, 1989
Main cover line: "Super Show!"Featured player: Jerry Rice.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Yes.
Cover story: Rice had 215 yards receiving against the Bengals, including 51 on the game-winning drive.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: Same.
SUPER BOWL XXII (Washington 42, Denver 10)
Issue date: Feb. 8, 1988
Main cover line: "Wow!"Featured player: Doug Williams.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Yes.
Cover story: "Wow"? Williams threw for 340 yards and four touchdowns, led the Redskins to 35 points in the second quarter and smashed the QB color barrier like no man before him. And all they can say is "Wow"? It's a genuine sentiment, but an accomplishment like that really calls for a little more eloquence. Paging Frank Deford! Perhaps I'm being a little too critical. It certainly could have been worse. It could have been "Yippeee!"
Could cover line have been written before the game? Maybe. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: Seeing as it was only John Elway's second Super Bowl loss, it's probably too early for "Sweet Redemption!" Other options: "Mile High!" and "Bucking History!"
SUPER BOWL XXI (N.Y. Giants 39, Denver 20)
Issue date: Feb. 2, 1987
Main cover line: "Super Star."Featured player: Phil Simms.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Yes.
Cover story: Simms put together the most efficient performance ever by a Super Bowl quarterback: 22-of-25 for 263 yards, three touchdowns and no interceptions. He didn't throw a single incompletion in the entire second half, and he added a 22-yard scramble just for the hell of it. So, strictly speaking, "Super Star" is an accurate description, but it really shortchanges Simms. Every Super Bowl has a star, so this line could have been written about any player in any game. It's even worse than "Wow!"
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: Same.
SUPER BOWL XX (Chicago 46, New England 10)
Issue date: Feb. 3, 1986
Main cover line: "Supermen!"Featured player: Wilber Marshall, Dan Hampton.
MVP? No, and no (Richard Dent). Iconic image? Not really.
Cover story: Another generic cover line. This was the ugliest title game of the Super Bowl era. Not ugly in terms of the quality of play -- it was pretty much a typical mid- to late-1980s-style blowout. No, it was ugly in the way it looked. It was played indoors, for one thing, which gave everything that bleached-out, filmed-in-a-hospital pallor. The Bears were forced to play in their bloodless road uniforms, rather than their fearsome home blues. The Patriots wore those dreadful 1970s candy-striper outfits with the hemorrhoidal Minuteman on the helmet. All things considered, the SI cover is as unpleasant to look at as the game footage. Essentially, it shows Pats QB Tony Eason under a pile of Bears, notably Marshall (58) and Hampton (99). There's nothing especially wrong with the photo -- it at least celebrates the Bears' defense -- but there's nothing particularly right with it either. SI earns points, however, for refusing to put Refrigerator Perry on the cover. Know what would have been cool to see on the cover? Buddy Ryan being carried off the field by the defensive players who considered him, rather than the clownlike Mike Ditka, as their spiritual leader.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Patriots' Day" or "Down Pat," of course.
SUPER BOWL XIX (San Francisco 38, Miami 16)
Issue date: Jan. 28, 1985
Main cover line: "The Niners Nail 'Em."Featured player: Roger Craig.
MVP? No (Joe Montana). Iconic image? No.
Cover story: Craig had a fine game, so putting him on the cover isn't really a problem -- except that this was the second time Montana had been Super Bowl MVP and the second time SI chose to feature the guy catching the ball rather than the guy throwing the ball. The cover line is just weird, though. It doesn't sound like something you'd come up with before the game. And the sub-headline carries the "nail" metaphor a step further: "Roger Craig Hammers The Dolphins." Kind of odd, but whatever. At least the words more or less reflected the game.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "The Dolphins Nail 'Em (Uwe Von Schamann Hammers The 49ers)."
SUPER BOWL XVIII (L.A. Raiders 38, Washington 9)
Issue date: Jan. 30, 1984
Main cover line: "Blowout!"Featured player: Jack Squirek.
MVP? Officially, no (Marcus Allen); but unofficially, maybe. Iconic image? Absolutely.
Cover story: By far, the best Sports Illustrated Super Bowl cover. The photo -- Squirek returning an interception for a touchdown past the forlorn Joe Theismann -- and the cover line pair up to convey the spirit of the game: an ambush and a blowout. Well done.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Redskins Repeat!" "Theis-Mann of the Year!"
SUPER BOWL XVII (Washington 27, Miami 17)
Issue date: Feb. 7, 1983
Main cover line: "Power and Glory."
Featured player: John Riggins.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? And how.
Cover story: Riggins' 166-yard game against the Dolphins was the high point of his Hall of Fame career. The photo SI went with captures the day perfectly: The Diesel churning downfield with half the Miami defense clinging vainly to his legs. The cover line is a little weird at first glance, but it totally grows on you: Riggins and the Redskins definitely rode power to glory. I don't know who the magazine's cover editor was at the time, but he or she did a hell of a job with Super Bowls XVII and XVIII.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Fintastic!" Or something that rhymes with "Cefalo."
SUPER BOWL XVI (San Francisco 26, Cincinnati 21)
Issue date: Feb. 1, 1982
Main cover line: "The 49ers Hit Pay Dirt"
Featured player: Earl Cooper
MVP? No (Joe Montana). Iconic image? Not really.
Cover story: This Super Bowl was almost as ugly as Super Bowl XX -- again, not in terms of game play, but in terms of overall appearance. The game was staged in the Pontiac Superdome but looked like it was in an aircraft hangar. One in which the aircraft were running their engines and belching smoke. Montana didn't have a heck of a game, but neither did anyone else on the 49ers, Earl Cooper included, so the QB got the MVP by default. Happens all the time. The SI cover line is just a meaningless cliche. That also happens all the time.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "The Bengals Hit Pay Dirt."
SUPER BOWL XV (Oakland 27, Philadelphia 10)
Issue date: Feb. 2, 1981
Main cover line: "Oh, What a Feeling!"Featured player: Rod Martin.
MVP? No (Jim Plunkett), but he could have been. Iconic image? I'm going to say yes, because the only other image that comes to mind is Dick Vermeil coming unglued before, during and after the game. That dude was pretty much born unglued.
Cover story: Linebacker Martin's three interceptions crushed Ron Jaworski's Philadelphia soul. The Raiders dominated the whole game, but it was Martin -- whose picks included one on the opening possession of the game -- who set the tone. Sports Illustrated's cover calls him the game's "hero." I'd call him the MVP, but no one asked me what I thought. They never do.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. In fact, it was Toyota's catchphrase for most of the 1980s. Possible cover line if the other team had won: Same, though the photo would have been of Vermeil weeping softly rather than Martin beaming triumphantly.
SUPER BOWL XIV (Pittsburgh 31, Los Angeles 19)
Issue date: Jan. 28, 1980
Main cover line: "This One Was Really Super."Featured player: John Stallworth.
MVP? No (Terry Bradshaw). Iconic image? No.
Cover story: It's not clear why this game was any more "Super" than the Steelers' three previous victories. It was tight through three quarters, but so was Super Bowl X. It ended with a flurry of activity, but so did XIII. Steelers QB Bradshaw threw three picks vs. two touchdowns. Rams QB Vince Ferragamo was kind of a dud. Nobody on either side had much of a rushing day. At least Stallworth had 121 yards receiving, including the 73-yard go-ahead touchdown, so he might as well be on the cover. Hell, he should have been the MVP.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: Same. Look, they were going to use this cover line regardless of what happened.
SUPER BOWL XIII (Pittsburgh 35, Dallas 31)
Issue date: Jan. 29, 1979
Main cover line: "Super Steelers."Featured player: Rocky Bleier.
MVP? No (Terry Bradshaw). Iconic image? No.
Cover story: Bleier is a hero, in more ways than one, but don't ask me what he's doing on the cover here. Against the Cowboys, he had just two rushes for a total of 3 yards and one catch for a 7-yard touchdown. That TD came in the second quarter, and although it was a heck of a catch and although it did, as the cover says, put the Steelers "ahead to stay," the game was anything but over at that point. Indeed, Dallas' furious but ultimately failed fourth-quarter comeback made this one of the most exciting Super Bowls from start to finish. Bleier's greatest play, actually, may have been recovering the Cowboys' last onside kick, sealing the game with less than a minute to play. The signature moment? It has to be Dallas tight end Jackie Smith flopping around in self-loathing after dropping Roger Staubach's perfect pass in the end zone. The 4-point difference between that missed touchdown and the field goal the Cowboys settled for on the drive ended up as the margin of defeat.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Super Cowboys."
SUPER BOWL XII (Dallas 27, Denver 10)
Issue date: Jan. 23, 1978
Main cover line: "Yippeee!"Featured player: Randy White, Harvey Martin.
MVP? Yes, and yes. Iconic image? No.
Cover story: The only co-MVPs in Super Bowl history, White and Martin certainly deserved to appear on the cover. Evidence: They led a Dallas defense that forced eight Denver turnovers. They kept so much pressure on Broncos quarterback Craig Morton -- a former Cowboy and the only QB to lose Super Bowls for two different teams -- that he completed as many passes to the Dallas defense (four) as to his own receivers. And they didn't snort cocaine on the field, as their colorful teammate Hollywood Henderson would later do. Now, it would have been nice to see an action shot of the Dallas D, but the celebration photo SI used was just fine. What leaves a lot to be desired, however, is the cover line: "Yippeee!" There's so much wrong with it. Such as: Since when are there three Es in the word? There's more, but why bother?
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Yippeee!" Every Super Bowl cover should have a "Yippeee!" on it somewhere. And you almost want to offer up "Sweet Redemption."
SUPER BOWL XI (Oakland 32, Minnesota 14)
Issue date: Jan. 17, 1977
Main cover line: "Oakland Bowls 'Em Over."Featured player: Ken Stabler.
MVP? No (Fred Biletnikoff). Iconic image? No.
Cover story: With nothing in particular to say about the game, SI reaches into its sack of ready-written cover lines. This was the first football game I ever watched, so I just naturally assumed that the Vikings were in the Super Bowl every year. Twenty-nine years later, and I'm still waiting for the next shot. There are a few moments from this game that linger in the collective memory. Biletnikoff, covered in mucus, hauling in a 48-yard pass at the Minnesota 2 yard line. Willie Brown returning an interception 75 yards to ice the game. Fran Tarkenton getting slapped around by Raider defenders. What I don't really think about is Stabler standing in the pocket. But maybe now I will. The Vikings finally scored more than 7 points in a Super Bowl, so for them it was a moral victory.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Minnesota Bowls 'Em Over."
SUPER BOWL X (Pittsburgh 21, Dallas 17)
Issue date: Jan. 16, 1976
Main cover line: "Pittsburgh Does It Again."
Featured player: Lynn Swann.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Yes.
Cover story: The photo shows one of Swann's most famous catches, a sprawling grab over a supine Cowboy. Swann caught only four balls all game -- but then again, Terry Bradshaw completed only nine passes all game. Those four catches, however, went for 12, 32, 53 and 64 yards, adding up to 161 of Pittsburgh's 209 passing yards. Give him the MVP and the cover, I say. But can't we come up with a better sub-headline? "Lynn Swann Shows the Way" sounds awfully, awfully familiar.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No, but it probably didn't take a lot of effort on deadline. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Ride 'Em, Cowboys" comes to mind ...
SUPER BOWL IX (Pittsburgh 16, Minnesota 6)
Issue date: Jan. 20, 1975
Main cover line: "The Steelers!"Featured player: Terry Bradshaw
MVP? No (Franco Harris). Iconic image? No.
Cover story: In Super Bowl IX, it was the Steelers' turn to use the Vikings like toilet paper. No skill player on either team played particularly well except Harris, who had 158 yards rushing. So naturally the cover featured future spelling bee champion Terry Bradshaw (9-of-14 for 96 yards) and the sub-head "Bradshaw shows the way." I'm sure Harris appreciated the guidance.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "The Vikings!"
SUPER BOWL VIII (Miami 24, Minnesota 7)
Issue date: Jan. 21, 1974
Main cover line: "Zonk!"Featured player: Larry Csonka.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Damn straight.
Cover story: Csonka went hog-wild on the Vikings for 165 yards and two touchdowns. The boys at SI weren't exaggerating when they wrote the sub-head "Miami Massacres Minnesota." Trivia: Csonka wouldn't return to the cover of the magazine until a year later, when he would pose in an empty stadium as a member of the WFL Memphis Southmen. (It was a photo that deliberately mocked his own glory days in Miami.)
Could cover line have been written before the game? You really wish they would have run with "Zonk!" regardless of who won -- or who even played -- but in the end, no. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Tarkenton!" just doesn't have the same ring. Maybe "Marinaro!" (or "Ed!").
SUPER BOWL VII (Miami 14, Washington 7)
Issue date: Jan. 22, 1973
Main cover line: "Miami All the Way."
Featured player: Bob Griese.
MVP? No (Jake Scott). Iconic image? It should have been, but it wasn't.
Cover story: This is a nice cover line, as it sums up both the Dolphins' unbeaten season, plus the way they never trailed Washington's Over the Hill Gang in the Super Bowl. As always seems to be the case, the signature image not only from the game but from Miami's entire 17-0 season was a total lowlight: kicker Garo Yepremian's botched pass/fumble/burlesque act after a blocked field goal. Imagine if that had cost them the game. It might have snuffed out the 1972 Dolphins' (alleged) annual champagne celebrations before they even started. Too bad.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Over the Hill to the Mountaintop."
SUPER BOWL VI (Dallas 24, Miami 3)
Issue date: Jan. 24, 1972
Main cover line: "Super Day for Dallas."Featured player: Duane Thomas.
MVP? No (Roger Staubach). Iconic image? Yes.
Cover story: This is a fair way to split the honors, I think. Staubach had a good day, though hardly phenomenal: 12-of-19 for 119 yards and two TDs. Running back Thomas also had a good day, though hardly phenomenal: 19 carries for 95 yards and a touchdown, plus three catches for 17 yards. In situations like that, they always give the hardware to the quarterback. Thomas, meanwhile, got to appear on the cover of SI in a total Heisman Trophy pose, with a suitably Age-of-Aquarius sub-headline: "The Sphinx They Couldn't Stop." (Thomas was famous for reticence in the press. Beats me how that translates into the nickname "The Sphinx." I thought the Sphinx spoke in riddles.)
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Super Day for Miami."
SUPER BOWL V (Baltimore 16, Dallas 13)
Issue date: Jan. 25, 1971
Main cover line: "Baltimore Wins the Blunder Bowl."
Featured player: Jim O'Brien.
MVP? Well, no (Chuck Howley), but don't blame him. Iconic image? Yes(?)
Cover story: I have so much respect for this cover. Sports Illustrated would never run something like this today, because SI doesn't want a Super Bowl cover that reflects reality. It wants one that it can use as a commemorative poster to goose subscriptions. (Remember when Time would use its Man of the Year issue to identify the individual who had the greatest impact on the past year, rather than try to pick the most popular, feel-good figure? It's the same sort of thing.) The Colts and Cowboys combined for 11 turnovers in a game so dreadful that a guy from the losing team was chosen MVP. Still, Super Bowl V had quite a memorable ending, as O'Brien (featured, but barely visible, on the cover) kicked a field goal as time ran out. It'd be 30 years before that happened again.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Dallas Wins the Blunder Bowl."
SUPER BOWL IV (Kansas City 23, Minnesota 7)
Issue date: Jan. 19, 1970
Main cover line: "Len Dawson Engineers Superchief Upset."Featured player: Len Dawson.
MVP? Obviously. Iconic image? No.
Cover story: A rather bizarre turn of phrase ("Superchief Upset"?) accompanies a stock photo of Dawson crouched over center. Super Bowl IV, the last before the AFL-NFL merger became official, may have been just as big an upset as the Jets over the Colts in Super Bowl III. But because Dawson was an all-American boy playing in the Heartland rather a degenerate hippie drinking his way across Manhattan, no one seemed to care. What do we remember from this game? Hank Stram urging "Lenny" to keep matriculating the ball down the field.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Viking Conquest"; "Vikes Pop a Kapp in Their Ass."
SUPER BOWL III (N.Y. Jets 16, Baltimore 7)
Issue date: Jan. 20, 1969
Main cover line: "Super Hero Super Joe"Featured player: Joe Namath.
MVP? Yes. Iconic image? Oh, good Lord, no.
Cover story: Have you heard the one about Joe Namath predicting that the Jets would beat the heavily favored Colts in the Super Bowl? Unfortunately, he was right, and thus was born one of the truly great non-stories in NFL history. In Namath hagiography, the prediction was the act of a brash rebel. In the world where the rest of us live, it was the act of a cheeky underdog who didn't have anything to lose. Underdogs are always predicting victory; it's just that no one remembers when they're wrong. That said, Namath had a decent game and probably deserved the MVP. The signature moment of the game was Broadway Joe jogging off the field afterward with his index finger in the air. SI, however, went with a picture of Namath drinking out of a squeeze bottle.
Could cover line have been written before the game? No. Possible cover lines if the other team had won: "Morrall of the Story." "Unitas We Stand." Preferably both.
SUPER BOWL II (Green Bay 33, Oakland 14)
Issue date: Jan. 22, 1968
Main cover line: "The Super Champion."Featured player: Vince Lombardi.
MVP? No; not even eligible (Bart Starr). Iconic image? Sure.
Cover story: What's the lasting image of Super Bowl II? I guess it has to be Lombardi being carried off after his last game as coach of the Packers, because damned if I can recall anything about the game. Super Bowl II: The Buzz Aldrin of Super Bowls.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: Same.
SUPER BOWL I (Green Bay 35, Kansas City 10)
Issue date: Jan. 23, 1967
Main cover line: "Green Bay on Top of the World."
Featured player: Max McGee.
MVP? No (Bart Starr). Iconic image? In a way.
Cover story: Green Bay receiver McGee is seen chugging downfield, his chiseled physique a-jiggle. If he looks like he's on the verge of either vomiting or passing out, it's because he was sharing his helmet with one of history's greatest hangovers. McGee hadn't expected to play, so he'd been out partying until the wee, wee hours the night before. However, he had to go in as an injury replacement, and the rest is 80-proof history.
Could cover line have been written before the game? Yes. Possible cover line if the other team had won: "Len Dawson Engineers Superchief Upset."
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