Week 9, PDQ

Another week, another detestable 6-8 record. You know, just once it'd be nice for NFC teams to aspire to something besides an 8-8 record. My son is due any day now, so we'll keep this short.

CORRECT PICKS
Baltimore 26, Cincinnati 20: The CBS microphones caught one of the head coaches in a profanity-laced tirade (1 "god-damned," 1 "fucking"). The crazy thing is, it wasn't even Marvin Lewis.

Jacksonville 37, Tennessee 7: After the Jaguars beat Houston next week, it's going to be next to impossible for Jack Del Rio to put Byron Leftwich back in. I'm not saying he shouldn't.

New Orleans 31, Tampa Bay 14: Every week I'm going to remind Jimmy Johnson that after seeing Bruce Gradkowski play all of one half, against the Saints in Week 4, he said Gradkowski may have taken Chris Simms' starting job for good.

N.Y. Giants 14, Houston 10: I can't decide which I liked better: Total ass Jeremy Shockey having his head all but caved in at the goal line, or total ass Jeremy Shockey dropping yet another sure TD catch as a result.

San Diego 32, Cleveland 25: It shouldn't be so damned hard for as good a team as the Chargers to put away as sorry a team as the Browns. Unless the Chargers aren't so good or the Browns aren't so sorry, or a sliding scale of the two.

Seattle 16, Oakland 0: Oakland gives up nine sacks, Randy Moss drops everything thrown his way, the Raiders' only noteworthy play was a knee to the balls, and the Seahawks only win 16-0? I've just got a bad feeling about this.

CORRECT PICKS
Miami 31, Chicago 13: The come-from-behind victory over the Cardinals proves that even when they don't play their best, even when they turn the ball over six times, the Bears still find a way to win. They're gonna go undefeated!

Kansas City 31, St. Louis 17: The Chiefs are always tough to beat in Missouri.

Detroit 30, Atlanta 14: Remember, we were all supposed to think Michael Vick had turned the corner based on his performance against Pittsburgh (now 2-6) and Cincinnati (4-4).

Buffalo 24, Green Bay 10: Remember, we were all supposed to thing the Packers had turned the corner based on their performance against Miami (now 2-6) and Arizona (1-7).

Washington 22, Dallas 19: Bill Parcells gave his whole team mono.

Denver 31, Pittsburgh 20: Ben Roethlisberger keeps throwing those passes up there as if the laws of physics apply differently when you're the defending champion.

San Francisco 9, Minnesota 3: There's disappointment, but not really shame, in getting shut down by the New England defense on a Monday night. There's really nothing but shame in getting shut down by the San Francisco defense on a Sunday afternoon.

Indianapolis 27, New England 20: I turned on the radio today only long enough to hear Colin Cowherd, the most superfluous blowhard in all of sports talk, argue that until Peyton Manning wins the Super Bowl, he's always going to say Tom Brady is the better quarterback. What a startlingly original line of thinking. What a cutting-edge argument. What a controversial stance.

THIS WEEK: 6-8
SEASON: 76-52 (59.4%)
(2005 through Week 9: 86-44)

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KA-POWER RANKINGS AFTER WEEK 9
Down and Distance's exclusive KA-POWER RANKINGS are back for their second year. The product of a simple formula, the rankings have predicted 10 of the last 16 Super Bowl winners. Further, 14 of the last 16 Super Bowl winners finished the regular season No. 1 or No. 2 in the KA-POWER RANKINGS system. Unlike with other, lesser rating systems, no opinion is involved in formulating these rankings. None. Teams are ranked on a centigrade scale, with 100 representing the NFL's strongest team and 0 its weakest. Don't like where your team is ranked? Blame science. (Key: WK9 = This week's ranking. WK8 = last week's ranking. POW = KAPOW-ER centigrade score)

WK9	WK8	TEAM	POW		WK9	WK8	TEAM	POW
1	1	Bears	100.00		17	19	Seahawks	36.49
2	2	Chargers	85.04		18	17	Rams	35.03
3	3	Patriots	76.90		19	22	Redskins	30.01
4	4	Ravens	72.57		20	24	Dolphins	29.09
5	9	Jaguars	72.32		21	20	Panthers	28.98
6	6	Broncos	67.79		22	21	Jets	27.98
7	5	Cowboys	63.79		23	18	Packers	26.31
8	7	Giants	63.13		24	25	Lions	25.24
9	8	Colts	62.80		25	23	Browns	23.40
10	10	Eagles	59.89		26	28	Bills	21.81
11	11	Saints	57.50		27	26	Cardinals	14.24
12	16	Chiefs	47.38		28	29	Titans	12.66
13	13	Bengals	44.57		29	32	49ers	5.29
14	12	Falcons	42.91		30	31	Bucs	4.01
15	14	Steelers	38.85		31	30	Raiders	0.65
16	15	Vikings	36.49		32	27	Texans	0.00

Teams eliminated this week from Super Bowl championship consideration (what?): Steelers, Packers. Teams previously eliminated: Raiders, Titans, Lions, Dolphins, Cardinals, Redskins, Browns, Bills, Texans, Buccaneers, 49ers.